


For The Same Team

by jenstraflintlocked



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-08-20 16:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenstraflintlocked/pseuds/jenstraflintlocked
Summary: Thirteen catches up with Jenny and Vastra





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I will continue the main Spinning Jenny fic but I couldn't wait to try out writing this it's a quick write

Jenny was writing up the details of the latest case in her diary when the knock came at the back door. It was rare for anyone to knock there. The Irregulars wandered in and out and Parker, his wife and his son were used to having the run of the yard and kitchen.

She got up, wondering if Strax had somehow locked himself out again and if so, whether she had time to reach the back door before he blew it up. Again.

It was thrown open with dramatic flair just as she was halfway across the kitchen.

"Should've remembered! You lot never answer the door." A blonde woman bounded up to her and gave her a tight squeeze hug. Three other people had followed her in and were now examining the kitchen.

"This is Ryan. Clever boy. This is Graham. Local Knowledge Gatherer." The woman paused, throwing the other young woman a fond look. "And this is Yaz. The most wonderful capable human being." She smiled. "Team TARDIS meet Jenny Flint, badass locksmith sword fighter extraordinaire." She gave Jenny another hug.

"Do we have a visitor?” Vastra asked pointedly from the doorway at the sight of a strange woman hugging Jenny.

"Um I think it's the Doctor ma'am." Jenny gently disengaged from the hug.

"You've been married how long and you still call her ma'am? Blimey Jenny." The Doctor huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Doctor." Vastra raked her eyes over the blonde woman.

"Oi." Jenny said, more out of habit than anything, noticing this perusal.

"Yes Vastra! Oi! Married!” the Doctor wagged a disapproving finger.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?” Vastra asked, folding her hands together. "Strax! Tea." She called in the direction of the old servants’ quarters where Strax had his armoury.

"Calling in to say hello." The Doctor shrugged as Vastra shepherded them into the living room.

"Wait...did you say you're married?” the older man the Doctor had introduced as Graham piped up.

"Yes." Vastra smiled at him, showing her teeth.

"To you?” Yaz pointed at Jenny.

"Yes. To me." Jenny folded her arms.

"Wicked." Ryan grinned.

"Isn't it like illegal in the Victorian times?” Yaz asked, sitting down on the couch.

"We have a special arrangement." Vastra smiled secretively.

"For services rendered to the crown." Jenny couldn't help subtly bragging.

"I dunno. Working with the person who banished me..." The Doctor shook her head, flopping down beside Yasmin. Very closely beside Yasmin, Jenny noted. She silently wagered a sovereign with herself.

"You still come here." Vastra pointed out.

Her Team TARDIS were now staring at the Doctor very interestedly. But Jenny noticed that one of them was staring a little differently to the others. There was a look on Yaz's face she recognised. Interesting... thought Jenny. Make that two sovereigns.

"So you've come over to our side then Doctor?” Vastra asked as Strax finally appeared with tea.

Jenny noted the way Yasmin's eyes widened slightly, but it could’ve been in reaction to Strax’s barked “Boy! How do you take your tea?”

“You what? What do you mean by that? I’ve always been on your side, haven’t I?” the Doctor said, a tad too innocently.

"I mean, you've regenerated into a woman." Vastra shared a look with Jenny, who hastily busied herself helping Strax pour the tea. Possibly Jenny would even go so far as three sovereigns.

"Well yeah. Sort of."

"Very nice." Vastra stared at the Doctor over the top of her tea cup.

"Uh...it's a lovely place you've got here." Graham piped up, having been handed his own cup of tea. He had been eyeing the dark oak panelled fireplace and was impressed with the rather lavish taste.

"Yes. We robbed a bank to pay for it." Vastra didn't break eye contact with the Doctor.

“Several banks.” Jenny corrected her.

"Vastra. Stop it." The Doctor warned.

Yaz stared in awe between Jenny and Vastra, not quite believing that the women before her, one dressed as a rich widow, the other her clearly well-off maid, were serial bank robbers. She found it harder to believe than the green scales, after all, she had been travelling with the Doctor for a while now.

"You're like proper hardened criminals." Ryan looked half shocked, half admiringly at them. “Whoa.” Strax had thrust a cup into his hands. He stared after the Sontaran as Strax handed out the rest of the tea.

"Well, we were. Our trade lends more to catching them now." Vastra leaned back in her chair to fully observe Ryan.

"Wait wait, so you're police??” he nearly dropped his tea.

"Private Investigators." Vastra amended.

"Yaz is a police officer." The Doctor interjected. She looked a little proud. _Four sovereigns_. Jenny nodded to herself.

"Really. Would you care to assist us with a case?” Vastra's eyes flicked towards Yaz, as she put her tea cup down.

"What, in Victorian England?"

"Why not? The Doctor _herself_ ," Vastra paused to relish saying it "finds you most capable. We should be glad of your help."

Yaz flushed at that.

“We can help too.” Graham spoke up.

“Excellent.” Strax finished putting the tea cosy on the pot. “The more warriors in battle, the greater chance of success. Sontar-ha!” he gestured.

“Uhh… Sontar-ha?” Ryan tried to copy him.

“Oh come on. More feeling than that!”

Vastra rolled her eyes. “Strax, why don’t you show these gentlemen your grenades collection?”

“What? Nah. The Doctor don’t like weapons. I won’t touch ‘em.” Ryan shook his head.

“See? Told you he’s smart.” The Doctor nodded.

“Perhaps the stables? Introduce them to Parker?”

“Not mad keen on horses.” Ryan shook his head again, folding his arms.

“He’s got dyspraxia.” Yaz explained.

“Can’t even ride a bike, let alone a horse.” Graham added.

Vastra saw Strax’s stunned expression.

“Strax, go and check the perimeter is secure.” She said loudly, before he could even open his mouth.

“At once Madame.” Strax replied automatically, inclined his upper body and left.

“My apologies.” Vastra retrieved her tea. “Strax is our butler and general handy-Sontaran. Very capable in battle, but if he isn’t kept perpetually occupied, he tends to start declaring war on things.”

“One time he declared war on the moon.” Jenny sighed.

“I remember that!” The Doctor grinned. “Funny story about the moon. It’s really a massive space dragon egg.”

Even Vastra was taken aback at that.

“Don’t worry.” The Doctor waved her hands to reassure them. “It doesn’t hatch for another hundred and fifty years or so. Well from now.”

“What so it hatches in our future?” Yaz stared at her.

“It’s all fine! I sorted it. Well, actually Clara did. I…” The Doctor looked uncomfortable for a second. “Anyway! What case did you have Vastra?”

Jenny shared a look with Vastra, wondering whether the Silurian was going to admit that was a lie or whether she was going to invent a case.

Strax chose that moment to burst back into the room, dragging Inspector Gregson.

“Madame! I found this miscreant lurking in the vicinity of the front door! I thusly apprehended him and brought him to you directly.” He grinned with pride.

“Strax!” Jenny and Vastra chorused together.

“I’ve told you before, Strax. Let ‘im go!”

Strax obeyed Jenny and let the unconscious Inspector sank forward onto the carpet. Jenny gestured for him to leave again and he shuffled out, muttering about doing his duty and how camouflaged spike pits around the house would’ve prevented this entire scene.

“Who’s that?” The Doctor stood up to examine him.

“Inspector Gregson. Our contact at Scotland Yard. Occasionally useful, despite his troubling grasp of biology.”

“Not like our Ryan then. He’s good at biology. Knows what a tongue is.” The Doctor rose from the floor.

“Really.” Vastra flashed her teeth.

Jenny was rolling her eyes before the Silurian’s tongue had even got half across the room.

“Whoa!!” Ryan stumbled backwards.

“Don’t worry. It’s only poisonous if she chooses it to be.” Jenny reassured him.

“Poisonous?!” Graham backed away out of range.

“You kiss this woman?!” Ryan stared at her with even greater respect.

“Among other things.” Jenny shrugged.

All of Team TARDIS stared at her. Her brain caught up with what her mouth had just said, and she closed her eyes.

The Doctor coughed. “So! What’s the case, Vastra?”


	2. Wilde About The Woman

Gregson lurched up off the floor. “What happened?” he asked, staggering at little.

“You tripped and knocked your head on our door step.” Vastra lied superbly, flashing her eyes at Team TARDIS and daring them to contradict her. The Doctor just snorted. “I really must move the boot scraper.”

“Ah! I wouldn’t if I were you ma’am.” Jenny hastily told her. “I saw Strax fiddling with it. I think he’s rigged some sort of trap.”

“No wonder then that the poor Inspector was caught off guard.” Vastra guided him to the conservatory and into the customary wicker chair. Graham and Ryan followed, shaking their heads. Yaz was just in shock, her mouth hanging open. The Doctor and Jenny merely exchanged a look.

“I’m tellin’ the truth about that.” She whispered to the Doctor. “Really. Don’t touch the boot scraper.”

“Now Inspector, what updates do you have to tell us regarding the case?” Vastra ignored Jenny’s look of disbelief and the Doctor’s increasingly suspicious glare.

“Oh! You know already? Well I suppose you do know the chap well.” Gregson paused. “The case collapsed. Well, it was always going to, the amount of evidence he had. Can’t win a libel case if a chap isn’t lying. But um…obviously, with that amount of evidence.” Gregson swallowed and said in a small voice. “There’s been a warrant put out. I…didn’t know quite what to do, there’s nothing really I can do but, I thought you’d want to know. He uh… he came to your wedding, didn’t he?”

Vastra’s green scales paled to almost yellow. “Oscar…”

The Doctor, who’d been perusing the statues dotted throughout the conservatory with narrowed eyes, spun around and knocked one over. It crashed to the floor, despite her flailing efforts to save it.

“Mr Wilde y’mean?” Jenny clutched the back of Vastra’s chair, ignoring the rubble now strewn on the floor.

Gregson nodded. “He hasn’t been arrested yet! It’s possible he’s fled the country.”

“If he didn’t have the sense not to bring forth the libel case, he won’t have the sense to flee.” Vastra shook her bowed head.

“Believe me. There’s nothing I can do. It’s the law.” Gregson shrugged helplessly, twiddling his bowler hat in his hand.

“The law is an ass!” Vastra sprung up from her chair, immediately turning to Jenny and embracing her.  

“What is it? What’s going on?” Ryan asked the Doctor.

She didn’t answer him.

“Reading Gaol.” Graham said to no-one in particular. “Mate of mine went to university in Reading. Got drunk one night, went up and started yelling “Hang on Oscar! We’re coming to get you out!”

“What? Oscar Who? What you on about?”

“Oscar Wilde.” The Doctor said through gritted teeth.  

“Oh no.” Yaz’s face dropped. She gazed at the hugging wives and back to the Inspector.

“I am truly sorry Madame Vastra. If he doesn’t flee, he’ll be arrested. And with the amount of evidence? It’s only a matter of time. I must get back.” Inspector Gregson placed his hat back on his head and left, not waiting for a goodbye from anyone.

“The love that dare not speak its name.” The Doctor said softly, almost in tears. She gave Yaz a bitter smile. “Always so easy to forget. That’s why Jenny still calls her ma’am. Even after all these years.”

“I am so lost right now.” Ryan admitted, holding his hands up in the air.

“Oscar Wilde.” Graham turned to him. “He got arrested for bein’ gay. Sentenced to two years hard labour. He dieOOF!” Graham nearly fell over as the Doctor cannoned into him, pressing her hand very firmly over his mouth.

“Graham. Remind me to introduce you to the concept of tagging your spoilers!” she hissed.

“Mf foy.” His eyes widened as he looked at Jenny and Vastra. They’d broken apart and were staring at him in mirrored horror.

Vastra turned with a pained snort. “Foolish ape.” She muttered before sweeping out the conservatory.

Yaz wasn’t certain who Vastra was talking about, Oscar Wilde or Graham. She looked at Jenny who was stood, looking stricken and half afraid, twisting her skirts in her hands.

“Can’t you do somethin’ though? Like, ask the Queen to pardon him or something? Services rendered to the Crown, right?” Ryan said suddenly.

“It doesn’t work like that Ryan.” The Doctor shook her head, letting go of Graham.

“Why not? If she allows them two to go around gettin’ married why not let him off?”

“Because there isn’t a law that can prosecute Jenny and Vastra, so the Queen chooses to turn a blind eye. A bit like how she banished me but turns a blind eye to me turning up. Besides, I wasn’t banished publicly, and it wasn’t reported across every newspaper. But if I broke a law and got arrested, she couldn’t just let me off. Well she wouldn’t have to, I’d escape but…”

“Oscar Wilde can’t.” Ryan snorted.

“This is like Rosa Parks all over again.” Graham shook his head sadly. “We can’t do anything, can we.”

Yaz was still looking at Jenny. “We can stay.”

There was a chorus of variations on the theme of “What?”

“We can’t change anything Yaz.” The Doctor hastened to remind her.

“Yeah but…they’re your friends, aren’t they? You said before we came here, your oldest friends.” Yaz hissed back. “Look at her.”

The Doctor looked at Jenny, still stood there forlornly, sans Vastra. She was fiddling with her wedding ring now. Yaz noticed it, such a plain gold band. But it would be. It had to be. Anything more ostentatious would draw unwanted attention. Particularly if Jenny was meant to be a maid.

She thought back to when gay marriage had been legalised, back in her own time, how happy everyone had been. She wished instead of staying they could take Jenny and Vastra to the future. But the future would have a problem with the green scales, she suspected. In Victorian London it must be easier to hide away that at least. She’d noticed the veil, draped on the back of the wicker chair Vastra had been sitting in. Although a niqab might’ve done the trick in hiding the scales, at the same time Yaz knew there’d always be the risk of someone snatching it off her. Although, Yaz thought, that would be something to see.

“Hey. Jenny.” The Doctor took Jenny’s hands in her own. “How about it then? Bit of a sleepover? Girl’s night in?”

“What?”

“Well Graham and Ryan too obviously. We could all stay for a bit, I mean. Keep you company.”

Jenny blinked, looking around at the four of them. “We don’t have that many spare bedrooms. Two of you would ‘ave to share.”

“Thas alright. You know me, I don’t sleep much anyway.” The Doctor shrugged.

“We could always just sleep in the TARDIS.” Graham pointed out.

“What, don’t you want to try out Victorian life, while we’re here? Get a top hat on? It feels like ages since I’ve worn a top hat. Can’t wait. Full waistcoat, tails and a walking stick jobbie.”

Yaz was momentarily distracted from the gravity situation by the image of the Doctor in a top hat.

“You don’t have to worry. 13 Paternoster Row is luxurious. S’even got a bath. AND an indoor toilet. Amazing what a few bank vaults worth can pay for.” The Doctor winked at Jenny, trying to lighten the mood.

“Um Doctor.” Ryan raised his hand. “Not to put too fine a point on it…” he gestured between himself and Yaz.

“Um. Hmm. Just…try not to punch any of the racists. I’m pretty sure I can get you out of jail but best not to try our luck ey. No. Leave the punching of the racists to me.” The Doctor sighed.

“But Doctor, won’t you have to wear a corset and a dress? Not a top hat?” Graham asked.

“Read Sarah Waters, Graham and never tell me that again.” The Doctor said with aplomb. “Now then, why don’t you three go with Jenny and get your rooms sorted out and I’ll go and see Vastra.” She dashed out the door.

“C’mon.” Jenny sighed. In all honesty, she’d prefer the company. And Vastra would be grateful for the Doctor being there. Such occasions were rare these days, but things like this always did bring home how precarious their situation was. She took them back through the house and up the stairs. Yaz marvelled at the size of the house, in comparison to her family’s flat, and at the sheer amount that was crammed in. Most everywhere a bookshelf could be fitted, there was one. Where there were no bookcases, there were paintings or prints on the walls. If there was a spare corner not being put to good use, there would be a statue in it. Usually of women. Quite often half naked women. Sometimes just odd figures, possibly some kind of alien relic. The carpets were lush and Jenny and Vastra clearly had a penchant for dark oak panelling and patterned wallpaper. “This is the bathroom,” Jenny pointed out to them. “Graham? You can have this room.” She opened the door onto a small but serviceable room, although clearly more a sort of book overflow than intended to be an actual room. “Air it out if you want. Mrs Parker keeps things fairly neat and clean, but we very rarely have visitors. Oh! If Strax offers to bring you the paper up? Duck.”

Graham went in and immediately sat down on the bed. He bounced a few times then swung his legs up to lie fully on it.

“Graham. What you doin’ man?”

“Checking the bed out. Better than a Holiday Inn.” He gave a thumbs up, put both his hands behind his head and showed no further signs of moving.

“Ryan?” Jenny beckoned to him to follow. It was a much similar room, also clearly for spare books rather than spare people. Ryan followed his granddad’s example. It was more comfortable than a Holiday Inn, he conceded.

“That’s our bedroom just down there.” Jenny pointed to a large door at the end of the corridor. “And this can be yours. It was the Doctors but he…she! She don’t usually sleep much unless she’s regenerating or ill or she wants to I guess. So, she won’t trouble you much. Prob’ly.”

“There’s only one bed.”

Yaz’s expression made Jenny add another sovereign onto her bet.

“The Doctor don’t sleep.” Jenny repeated. “Prob’ly spend most of her time tinkering away in the TARDIS. She gets bored easily. Even if she does say she’s staying, if there’s not much to do…”

“You really do know her well.” Yaz smiled.

“I’ve known uh…her since I was a kid. She saved me life, when I first met her.” Jenny shrugged again. “She saved Vastra too.”

“She does that.” Yaz nodded. “When she can.” She remembered Grace and remembered the reason they were staying. “You gonna be alright?”

Jenny blinked at her. “I just wish there was something I could do. We told him not to take up the libel case. Everyone told him not to. He came askin’ Madame for advice. We investigated the blighter. We did our best but…he had better I guess. Or it was just that easy to find evidence.” Jenny sank down on the bed and buried her head in her hands. “I knew people like that. When I was a girl, in a reformatory. They used to use me as a look out for them. But then one day they didn’t. And they got caught. Can’t do nuffin when you’re caught like that. I should know. I catch people now.” Jenny looked thoroughly miserable as she glanced up at Yaz. “The Doctor said you’re a police o”

“Officer.” Yaz said automatically. Jenny merely nodded.

“The police here took a long time to get used to me. They thought I was just a maid at first. Used to irk me something chronic. But it’s better. Well you saw. Gregson even came to tell us. He’s grown to be a decent gent. As decent as you can get anyway.”

“It’s so much better in the future.” Yaz sat down next to Jenny. “It really is.” She didn’t give a damn about “Spoilers”. “You can get married, legally. There’s marches. The police join in. They’ve got special rainbow painted cop cars.”

“What? Like protests?”

“Well they started out like that but now it’s more people just parade. It’s called Pride. And people remember. They remember Oscar Wilde. His plays, his poems. What happened to him. There was a movie. Stephen Fry played him.”

“A movie?” Jenny asked blankly.

“Never mind. And it doesn’t stick, not forever. They pardon him. In 2017. They pardon loads of men who got arrested for being gay.”

Jenny nodded, giving a tight-lipped smile. It didn’t change anything that was about to happen. But it was a small consolation.

“Better not tell him that though.” Yaz smiled. “Spoilers an’ all.”

“Yes Yaz. Spoilers.” The Doctor wagged a finger as she leant against the doorframe. “I see my companion’s been cheering you up Jenny. She’s good, isn’t she?” The Doctor grinned. “Are you givin’ her my old bedroom? I have fond memories of this room.” She plopped down on the bed in between them. “Leapt out the window right there.” The Doctor pointed to it. “And then a horse stole me and I tried to get a T-Rex back home. But it burned.” She finished sadly. “She was so sad and alone. That was my fault. Getting her trapped here. I was regenerating. You know what I’m like when I’m doing that, don’t you Yaz.” She elbowed her. “What regeneration is this for you anyways Jenny? You’ve not quite been there from the start but you’ve seen a fair few of my old faces.”

“Fourth I think. I like this one best.” Jenny grinned at her.

“Oi! You and Vastra are as bad as each other. Married!”

“So were you!” Jenny protested. “To River. But that didn’t stop _you_ kissing _me_.”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped open. “I…”

“You what?” Yaz stared at her.

“I’d just recovered from the Crimson Horror, with the help of Jenny.” The Doctor explained. “I was a bit…ecstatic. Plus! I was a completely different you know what that’s never gonna work is it.” The Doctor trailed off and sat staring at her knees for a moment. “Sorry Jenny. I shouldn’t’ve done that.” She said, sincerely. “Forgive me?”

Jenny bit her lip to stop the smile at the Doctor’s hangdog expression and puppy dog eyes. “So long as you don’t do it again.” She managed to say in a serious tone of voice.

“Not likely. Vastra threatened to slap me so hard I’d use up all my remaining regenerations.” The Doctor shivered. “Can’t decide whether that’s more of a threat or less of one since I got given another round.”

“I can’t believe you.” Yaz folded her arms.

“In my defence, everyone was always kissing me without a by your leave. I thought maybe that’s just what humans did.”

“That’s awful!” Yaz made a face.

The Doctor gave a passable imitation of Jenny shrugging. “It was always a bit alarming I suppose. Anyways! Enough about me. We’re meant to be cheering Jenny up!” she flung her arms around Yaz’s and Jenny’s shoulders and whispered conspiratorially. “How about a trip in the TARDIS?”

Jenny gave Yaz an “I told you so” expression.

“Thought we were meant to be staying here, Doctor.” Yaz reminded her gently, nudging her with her knee.

“Oh! Oh. Oh yeah.” The Doctor’s face scrunched up. “I forgot. Right then! What else is up in Victorian London?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in Doctor Who Adventures magazine series about The Paternoster Gang, chapter entitled The Importance Of Being Strax, Oscar Wilde sends Jenny and Vastra tickets to the premiere of Importance of Being Earnest. The Importance of Being Earnest was first performed on the 14th of February (ya rilly) 1895. He was arrested less than two months later. 
> 
> Also, there was an interview with Moffat, but I can't find it now, where he was talking about Jenny and Vastra's wedding and like their wedding rocked Victorian culture to the core and Oscar Wilde was there but Arthur Conan Doyle only sent like a fruit basket. Anyways it's pretty much canon that they're mates so I'm bringing him in.
> 
>  
> 
> oh! btw that story Graham tells? About his mate getting drunk and going up to Reading Gaol in the middle of the night and nearly getting arrested for yelling "HANG ON OSCAR WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU OUT" very very loudly? That is a true story of what my Ma did when she was at uni. She is not mates with Graham tho. As far as I know.


	3. The Time Machine

“Well I’d offer to show you the sights Doctor, but I think you’ve seen ‘em all.”

“I haven’t.” Yaz piped up. “Not really been to London.”

“The Nation’s Great Capital. Not much worth seeing.” The Doctor shrugged. “The best way to see anything is to just trawl along the streets and see what turns up. Go to the most out of the way place and find excitement.”

“It’s not very exciting but if you want a wander through London, I need to get the April edition of the New Review.” Jenny offered. “It’s serialising the new HG Wells novel. Vastra is particularly interested in it.”

“Oh aye? 1895.” The Doctor thought for a moment. “Nah. Can’t remember. What’s it called?”

“The Time Machine.” Jenny grinned.

The Doctor stuck her tongue out and scrunched her nose up. “Can’t believe I forgot that one. Shopping trip it is then. Where’s the boys got to?” she bounced off the bed and to the doorway. “Oi! Lads!” she bellowed down the corridor. “We’re goin’ shopping. Want to come?”

Silence was the stern reply.

“You’d stand out a bit.” Jenny gestured to the Doctor’s attire.

“Ah! Thank you for reminding me. I need a top hat. And a tail coat. And a blue waistcoat like yours.” The Doctor darted out the door.

“C’mon.” Yaz beckoned Jenny to follow them. “I may as well get dressed up too.”

 

Yaz noticed Jenny’s hesitation at entering the TARDIS. “Have you ever been inside?”

“Once. A long time ago now it seems.” Jenny followed her through the door. “Oh! It’s changed. Like the Doctor. She used to have books everywhere.”

Jenny lingered by the console, running her hands over the stems of crystal. She turned the egg timer over, staring transfixed as the sand ran through it.

“Oi! Best not touch it. That’s part of the controls. Sets how far back or forward you want to go.” The Doctor bounded back up from wherever it was she’d been. “Ta-dah! What d’you think?” she twirled, a top hat and cane in either hand, coat tails flapping.

Jenny glanced at Yaz’s expression and added another two sovereigns onto her bet with herself. She smiled to herself, remembering when she’d first seen Vastra. And several other times seeing Vastra after that. And in all honesty, sometimes Vastra could still make her look like that. Quite a lot of the time really.

“Very stylish.” Jenny nodded, to fill the silence.

The Doctor put the top hat on, abandoned the cane by the console and grabbed Yaz’s hand. “C’mon! You have to get dressed up too!”

Jenny was beginning to lose count on how much she’d bet.

“Oi! Jenny Flint! Get a shift on.”

“I’m good thanks, Doctor.” She called after them.

“Well. This is a rare surprise.” Vastra walked through the door.

“Back atcha.” Jenny nodded.

“Well?”

“Uh…I lost count somewhere. I’m rounding it up to ten pounds.” Jenny leaned back against the console.

“Hefty wager.”

“Easy win.”

Vastra gave her a slow lazy smile.

“You alright ma’am?” Jenny took the Silurian’s hand. “Do you want to go see ‘im?”

“I imagine he would have better things to do at this time. And if what Graham let slip is true, then any attempt to persuade him to flee clearly would not work.”

“D’you ever wish to go to another time? One where we wouldn’t have to hide?”

“That would be running away my dear. What would happen if everyone ran away from their battles? Nothing would ever be achieved. And how far in the future would we have to go? To what distant realm or planet? No. Better to stay here and try and further this time towards that goal. Besides, we have people who rely on us here. Would you take all of them with us or would you abandon them to the vagaries of this era? Now! Where is the Doctor and her delectable companion?”

“Gettin’ changed.” Jenny gestured towards the first door on the left.

“Shall we?” Vastra offered Jenny her arm. “You could stop being a maid for the day. We could be two women of leisure.”

Jenny grinned. “Alright.” She took Vastra’s arm.

The TARDIS’s wardrobe was always a sight to behold, with rows upon rows of racks and stairs up into forgotten lofts full of boxes and disguises and scarves, but now chaos had touched it, more so than usual. There were dresses everywhere. Tailored trousers were flung across railings. A corset lay abandoned by a lone Welsh dresser. The Doctor was half buried in a rack of coats. Yaz was standing, watching her fling jackets around.

She gave the wives a shrug as she spotted them. “I told her I don’t really fancy wearing a dress.”

“I hear the constabulary has a very smart uniform these days.” Vastra picked up an inexplicable bobby hat perched on top of a nest of feather boas and inspected it.

“Ugh. No. They might ask me to arrest Oscar Wilde. Think I’ll leave work for at home.” Yaz shuddered. “I don’t see how I can wear men’s clothes tho. Think my hair would give me away a bit.”

“I can do it up for you in a bun.” Jenny offered, picking up a comb from the exquisite welsh dresser, admiring the mother of pearl inlay.

“A-right.” Yaz sat down on the stool and let her hair down.

Vastra watched studiously as Jenny combed but turned to find the Doctor when Jenny ran fingers through Yaz’s hair, separating it into three strands ready to plait.

“Ah! Vastra.” The Doctor stumbled out from a rack, clutching two coats to steady herself. “What should we dress Yaz in? She doesn’t want a tail coat or a dress. I don’t know what else there is.”

“Failing everything else, a long cloak usually suffices to cover attire. It depends how long you two are thinking of staying with us for. For dinner? For a day? For a week?” The Silurian gave a sultry grin. “Forever?”

“Ugh.” The Doctor looked disgusted and disappeared amongst rows of precariously stacked boxes.

“I would suggest, for a small jaunt out into London, a nice silk shirt, a flamboyant tie and these.” Vastra held up a pair of trousers, with wide enough legs that they looked akin to a skirt.”

“Ooh! Very nice. Yaz!!” The Doctor darted back out and grabbed the ensemble.

“What are those?” Yaz stared at the trousers.

“Well you’ve got to wear something!”

“Does she n…Ow!” Vastra hissed at Jenny, the young woman having bopped her on a head crest with a hairbrush.

“Behave!”

Yaz stared up at them. “I’ll take the trousers.”

“Shame.” The Doctor sighed.

Vastra’s eyes widened, Jenny snorted and covered it with a small cough. Yaz kept her face carefully blank.

“What?”

“I still think you would’ve looked good in a dress.”

“I have always maintained that you would look good in a dress, Doctor.” Vastra sighed. “Are you sure you won’t try one on? After all those years of trousers?”

Jenny rolled her eyes and went back to twisting Yaz’s plait up into a bun.

“Ergh. Corsets. No. Not happening.”

“Oh come now Doctor, you haven’t even tried it yet.”

“How d’you know?” The Doctor retorted. “That came out wrong. Take that look off your face Vastra.” She wagged a finger under Vastra’s nose. “And you can stop sniggering an’ all Jenny Flint.”

Jenny was almost bent double, still vainly attempting to secure the bun.

“Did River lend you one?”

“No!”

“Are you blushing?”

The Doctor sighed. “Anyone would blush around you Vastra. Honestly. Where do you even get these ideas from?”

“She reads novels.” Jenny told her, nodding wisely.

“What kind of novels??”

“Not just HG Wells.” Vastra smiled superbly.

Jenny caught sight of Yaz’s expression in the dresser mirror.

“I thought the Victorians were all really straight laced.” She whispered when Jenny caught her eye.

“Vastra ain’t a Victorian.” Jenny shrugged. “She’s a Silurian.”

“Are all Silurians like that?”

“I was corrupted by the era of apes.” Vastra spread her hands wide, her face the picture of innocence.

Jenny tied off the bun and turned to face her wife. “Oh by apes was it?” she folded her arms.

“Well. One ape in particular.” Vastra stepped towards Jenny, trailing a finger tip down her cheek.

“Oh get a room you two. Honestly!” The Doctor waved them both towards the door. Jenny offered Vastra her arm.

“M’lady?”

“ _My_ lady.”

 

“Are they always like that?” Yaz asked, hurriedly getting changed whilst the Doctor decidedly didn’t look.

“Jenny and Vastra? Pretty much.”

“And they’re married, right?”

“Oh yeah. I turned up to their wedding five times. Well as five different versions. All at the same time. I did three different best man speeches.”

“But…”

“Eh Vastra likes teasing people. Particularly humans.” The Doctor came out and threw the scarf around Yaz’s neck, giving her a fond smile.

“Oh.”

“I’ve known Vastra a long time and I’ll let you in on a secret.” She tied the scarf in a large floppy bow and leaned in close. “The only winning move is not to play. Her and Jenny always have a level beyond whatever one you take it to.” The Doctor stood back and looked over Yaz appraisingly.

“I prefer jeans.” Yaz went to stick her hands in her pockets and was pleasantly surprised to find the trousers had them.

“Pockets make anything perfect.” The Doctor nodded. She held up a mulberry waistcoat and Yaz turned and shrugged herself into it, the Doctor smoothing down the shoulders. If Yaz didn’t know any better, she would’ve said the Doctor was trying some flirting herself.

“What d’you think?” Yaz gave a little twirl.

“Perfect! Coat or cloak?” The Doctor held up a rich plum velvet jacket and long black satin cloak.

“I’m alright like this.” Yaz stuffed her hands back in the pockets and shrugged.

“Sure you’re not going to get cold?”

“I’m sure.” Yaz nodded, thinking that the Doctor looked very cute when concerned.

“Ah well. If you do, I’ll just have to be the gentleman and give you mine.” The Doctor looked at the articles of clothing she was holding for a moment before flinging them by the welsh dresser. “Wardrobe floordrobe.” She rolled her eyes. “C’mon. Better go find Jenny and Vastra. Unless they took me literally and really did go and find a room. In which case. Better not. I’m babbling aren’t I. Sorry. Let’s go!” She bounded out the door and back towards the console room.

 

Yaz followed, getting used to the swish of her trousers. At least she wasn’t wearing a corset.

“Oi! When I said get a room, I didn’t mean this one.” Yaz heard the shout and hastened through the door to see Vastra perched on the edge of the console and Jenny still leaning over her. The TARDIS seemed to be humming discordantly. “Very strict rule. No snogging in the console room.”

“Why not?”

“You should try it some time, Doctor.”

Yaz nearly walked into one of the crystal struts.

“Especially not against the console!” The Doctor ignored them all, rushing around to flick several switches and twiddle a wheel. The tone of the humming started sounding happier. “Get off there. You nearly launched us into flight.”

“And would that’ve been any worse than the way you usually fly her?” Vastra slowly got up, smoothing down the front of her dress as Jenny tugged her waistcoat flat.

“Oi!”

“She’s got a point Doc.” Graham walked through the TARDIS door. “That potato lookin’ fella said you’d be in here. Thought you were goin’ shopping. Lovin’ the tail coat Doc.”

“Whoa. Yaz. Not bad.” Ryan looked over Yaz’s outfit and gave a thumbs up.

“Are you gonna get changed too?” Yaz asked, still a little uncomfortable in her outfit.

“Uh…yeah. Sure.”

“First door on the left, second right, under the stairs, past the pins, fifth door on the left.” The Doctor called out, ducking underneath the console and sonicing a bunch of wire.

“Madame. If we are going on a tactical excursion, may I take this opportunity to suggest hand held laser cannons and Viluxat pocket torpedoes? I have brought the usual necessary supplies of grenades.” Strax strode through the door, hauling a suspiciously large black bag.

“Strax! Get those things out of my TARDIS!” The Doctor stood back up, frowning at the console. Out of habit she depressed the custard cream lever and unconsciously bit into it. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Strax turned, grumbling under his breath but the door slammed shut before he could reach it.

“Are you sure on that Doc?” Graham muttered as the TARDIS shuddered into life.

“What on earth did you two do to her?” The Doctor scowled at Jenny and Vastra, desperately pulling on the large lever to stabilise the TARDIS. With a familiar wailing noise and a large lurch that left them all scrambling for something to hold onto, the TARDIS took off.


	4. Farthest North

7th April 1895

 

The Doctor glowered at various screens, trying to make out the readings, finishing off a bourbon cream as she did so, taking care that no crumbs should fall on the console. Strax was merrily double checking the safety catches on his laser guns, having finally learnt his lesson after five lectures from Jenny but the rest of them stood around, impatiently waiting for her verdict.

“Well. If these readings are correct, we haven’t actually gone that far. Only a couple of days in the future. You don’t mind missing a few days do you Vastra? Can’t always guarantee that I’ll be able to get anywhere near it again.” She absentmindedly stroked one of the crystal struts.

“I can’t imagine the world has changed that much in two days.” Vastra shrugged in her nonchalant fashion and went to open the TARDIS door.

A bright white light blazed through into the console room. The whistle of a bitter wind came to their ears but there was no accompanying icy gust. Vastra shielded her eyes and stepped out.

“Whoa!” Ryan exclaimed as he and Jenny hastened out after her. They both stood amazed, just outside the TARDIS door.  

“You sure we didn’t go too far? Seems like we’ve landed in the middle of the next Ice Age.” Yaz stepped out and looked round at the world of snow that stretched as far as she could see.

“Very Day After Tomorrow. Why can’t we feel the cold?” Graham asked. He automatically huddled in on himself, hand shielding his eyes from the glare of the low sun, watching the wind scud across the snow, whipping loose flakes up and around, making coils like snakes. It reminded him of pictures he’d seen of deserts.

“What are you all on about?” The Doctor strode towards the door and joined them, standing just outside the TARDIS door. “Oh. Oh my. Um. Don’t go any further. You’ll freeze to death. Right now, the TARDIS shields are protecting you from the worst of it. That’s why you can’t feel it.”

“Vastra. Get back inside.” Jenny’s expression and tone held no room for argument. Vastra took one last lingering look around the frozen scape before submitting to Jenny’s tugging hand and returning to the TARDIS.

“I don’t understand.” The Doctor pushed past them to once again stare at the screen, her arms folded. “We really have only moved a couple of days in the future. This is still Earth…”

“Whereabouts on Earth? The South bleedin’ pole?” Graham made a show of shivering and stamping his feet as he came back in.

“Err…close, but no penguins. This…this is the North Pole. Or close to it. Um. Best get back inside everyone!” she called out.

“Can’t we go out there then?” Yaz asked, loathe to leave the desolate beauty outside.

“Yeah! We could go to the North Pole. Proper expedition style.” Ryan agreed as he closed the doors behind him.

“We’d need sleds!” The Doctor scoffed at them. “Proper equipment. And supplies. It’s not like just rocking up on an alien planet. According to this,” she tapped a screen. “we’re still about 250 nautical miles from the North Pole. That’s more like 300 miles which is more like 500 kilometres! Do you have any idea how long that would take us? And it’s not just about walking. It’s about overcoming obstacles. There’s a reason why so many of the early explorers gave up you kno-ohh! Oh! Stupid Doctor.” She ground the heels of her hand against her temples. “This is…this…”

There was a knock on the TARDIS door and everyone fell silent.

“Who’s that then?” Graham whispered, jerking a thumb in the direction of the door.

“Are there aliens at the North Pole? Is that why the TARDIS brought us here?” Yaz asked, her face lighting up with excitement.

“No. I think ‘e’s human.” Jenny said, having opened the TARDIS door by this point to reveal two frozen looking men, wrapped up and covered with ice. There was a sled and a team of dogs not far behind them.

“What are you?” The man who had knocked stared at her, amazed that she was dressed in a shirt and skirt and clearly unaffected by the cold. “What is this place?” he peered past her into the TARDIS.

“Oh! Hi! Nansen? Or Johansen?” The Doctor swiftly joined Jenny and beamed at the two men. “Team!” She stepped to one side, so they could all see. “Meet Fridtjof Nansen and his bezzie mate, Hjalmar Johansen. Always nice when names rhyme like that in a team isn’t it. Like Graham and Ryan.”

“Uh…who?” Ryan chose to ignore that comparison.

“These guys are making a dash for the North Pole, having abandoned their ship, the Fram, in the ice around about oooh March time? Just in time for Spring to arrive. And the sun.”

Nansen and Johansen were clearly unnerved, even more so when they spotted Vastra, who was sans her veil. They swore and pointed violently at her.

“Oi! Don’t be rude.” The Doctor wagged a finger at them.

“What is that??” Johansen gestured at Vastra with an ice pick.

“That. Is my wife.” The Arctic temperature outside was still warmer than Jenny’s voice as she stepped up to confront the two men.

The shock of the statement silenced them. They alternated between gaping at Jenny and gawking at Vastra.

“Look.” The Doctor broke the silence. “Really sorry. Not here to interfere in any way. Lovely meeting you awesome explorers you, but you’d best continue on eh?” The Doctor spread her arms, trying to herd them back away from the TARDIS.

“We cannot.” Nansen sighed. “We have made camp for one last time. After that? We are thinking we will turn back.”

“Oh! Of course.” The Doctor turned back to the assembled gang. “They never actually reach the Pole. But they get the farthest North. Well further North than anyone else. After that it’s all a bit wobbly until Amundsen flies over it. Although, it was bunch of Russian chaps that first set foot there without anyone contesting it.”

“Can the TARDIS fly? Like a proper space ship? Cos, if she can, we could fly over it too.” Yaz pointed out.

“Well technically but…”

“This is a ship? It can fly?” Nansen stepped over the threshold.

“’ere! Nansen! I remember that. I read about the Fram. There were these books, Swallows and Amazons all about these kids in the Lake District and in one of the books, it was winter and they talked about the Fram and Nansen. Is that that bloke then?” Graham pointed at the man who was trying to edge past them to get a closer look at the console.

“We are hallucinating.” Johansen spoke suddenly, darting forward to grab Nansen’s arm. “It is the only explanation. The cold has gotten to our minds at last. We must hurry back to camp and take shelter. Don’t go any further Nansen.”

“They seem very solid for hallucinations.” Nansen shrugged. “But regardless, you are right, we should return to camp and make ready to leave. The blocks of ice are too difficult for us to navigate beyond and the storms worsen.” He turned away sadly.

“Wait a minute.” The Doctor threw out an arm and stopped him. “What storms?”

“Aliens.” Ryan nodded wisely at Yaz. “Bet it’s aliens.”

“Oi. I was the one who guessed at aliens first.” She nudged him with her elbow.

Nansen and Johansen shared a look. “It is the land.” Nansen told them nervously, as if unsure they would believe him. “It rears up. It moves. Like a great beast. And when it does, the snow comes.”

“Ohhhh. A great snow beast. Fantastic.” The Doctor grinned.

“I fail to see how that is fantastic.” Vastra shivered involuntarily.

“Oh! Yes. Best stay inside. Forgot. Silurians. Useless in the cold.”

“Oh thank you.” The useless Silurian hissed acerbically.

“It ain’t those killer snowmen again, is it?” Jenny frowned, moving closer to Vastra.

“No! Shouldn’t be. Hopefully. Hopefully it’s not the Martian Ice Warriors either.” The Doctor made a face.

“Hold on. Killer snowmen? Martian Ice Warriors?”

“Not important right now, Graham!” The Doctor reassured him. “And not what is happening here. Right. Forget everything I said before. We’re going on a trip to the North Pole. So! First things first, we’re going to need to get dressed in some warmer stuff. Everyone to the Floordrobe!” she spun back round to the two Arctic explorers. “Nansen, Johansen! Don’t you move!”

 

Ten minutes of chaos and whirling clothes and everyone was dressed in an abundance of thermal clothing. The Doctor had even insisted on thermal underwear. Strax looked even more ridiculous than usual, wrapped in a day glo orange survival suit. He’d insisted his Sontaran armour was more than sturdy enough for the Arctic but no-one had believed him. Vastra was barely visible. The Doctor had activated multitudes of heat packs and stuffed them in every available pocket in the outfits she was wearing. Jenny was busily admiring her new snow boots. She got the feeling if she looked at Vastra too long she’d laugh at her usually lithe Silurian having become a walking ball of insulation. Graham had decked himself out in the best snow gear but had still wrapped his old scarf round his neck. Ryan clacked together two snow poles the Doctor had given him. “Should help you out.” She smiled.

The large snow goggles and the face protector that Yaz had unearthed couldn’t quite disguise her grin. They were going out, into the Arctic. She loved the adventures in time, and in space, but somehow the journeys to different places on Earth always excited her the most. Places she could never dream of going normally, following in the footsteps of people in the past. But this was the past. She always had difficulty adjusting to that. She wasn’t following them, she was walking right alongside them. As difficult as that was at times, it still thrilled her.

Unsurprisingly, the two men hadn’t moved. They were quite content to bask in the comparable warmth of the TARDIS for a while, having spent so long traversing the ice. Johansen was quietly inspecting his hands, the fingers tips blackened by frost bite. Nansen was studying the miniature TARDIS intently.

“Now!” The Doctor began as soon as they were all assembled back in the console room. “As I rightly pointed out earlier, if we want to go to the North Pole, we’re going to need transport. Wait here.” She disappeared down a corridor that widened behind her.

Jenny glanced at Yaz and raised her eyebrows. “Any clues what she’s going to come back with?”

Yaz shrugged. “I thought we’d be taking the TARDIS.”

There was the sound of a small explosion, a faint jingling of bells, the scrape and slide of metal on metal, a gathering roar of a rocket and a sleigh exploded through the console room and out through the TARDIS doors. It landed on the snow about ten feet away. The Doctor pulled on a large spatula that made a boot drop down. Yanking the steering handles round, she executed a perfect bootlegger and then stood up, throwing her arms wide above her head.

“Whaddaya think fam? Team? What do you call your little lot Jenny? Irregulars? Nah. This should get us to the Pole no problem. All aboard!”

They piled out the TARDIS, collecting a stunned Nansen and Johansen on the way, and onto the sleigh.

“This is one jacked up ride.” Ryan whistled as he saw what looked like one of the engines from the base of a Saturn V rocket attached to the back.   

“It’s the best.” The Doctor smiled. “Bought it, well possibly more borrowed, possibly seeing as I haven’t given it back yet could be in the realms of stealing…anyways! I got it off a Whovian. Well, he wasn’t a Who, he was more of a What. You’d like him Vastra.” The Doctor helped the Silurian on board. “He was green too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book that Graham is referencing is Winter Holiday, by Arthur Ransome, one of the Swallows and Amazons books. It's the book where I first read about the Fram and Nansen too.
> 
> The sleigh is of course the Grinch's. Jim Carrey's.


	5. O Krool Is The Snow That Sweeps The North Pole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title a riff off the opening line of Massacre at Glencoe

The first thing Yaz noticed was the lack of seatbelts. Remarking upon this to Jenny merely got her a puzzled frown and a “what’re seatbelts?” She duly explained.

“Foolish boy! Why on earth would we require restraints?” Strax carefully arranged his bag of weapons underneath the ledge.

Yaz looked around the sled. There was a certain home-made feel to it and not just the dodgy welding. The back was huge, clearly meant as some kind of storage area. They were all huddled together on planks of wood, which resembled more support for something rather than a seating area. She was reminded of the boat they’d sailed on, across the water on Desolation. That mode of transportation hadn’t seemed up to much either, which had been worrying, considering the flesh-eating water. Still, she would trust her nutter to lead them into danger and get them running swiftly away from it again.

“Everybody on board?” The Doctor thrust what looked like a wooden spoon forward in its slot, flicked all the switches on the dashboard, which lit up like a Christmas tree and then grasped the reversed push bike handlebars that Yaz guessed was the method of steering the unwieldy thing. The entire sleigh was vibrating beneath them, metallic rattling noises doing nothing to fill Yaz with confidence. “Hold on to something!”

Jenny and Vastra ducked down into the well between the two benches and sat with their backs to the Doctor’s driving seat, one arm around the other and the other hand gripping tightly onto the rails. Yaz and Ryan shared one desperate look and decided to follow their lead, flinging themselves into the well as well, pulling Graham, Nansen and Johansen down with them.

The Doctor hit the ignition switch, and a swathe of ice melted behind them as the huge rockets exploded. She pulled on a spatula and, juddering like a pushbike being ridden over gravel, the sleigh rose up in the air.

“I’m not entirely sure this is safe.” Graham remarked over the roar of the engines.

Johansen was clinging to Nansen in terror. “This is cannot be real!”

“What are you all doing down there?” Strax bellowed at them, vibrating along the bench towards the back of the sleigh.

“Let’s go!” The Doctor turned to give them a massive grin and nearly fell off the seat on top of Jenny and Vastra as the sleigh took off.

Their screams trailed away and disappeared as the sleigh hurtled through the Arctic air. The wind chill factor was making icicles form horizontally from various uprights. Strax was clinging onto the back board in uncharacteristic grim silence. Only the Doctor’s “YEEEEHHHAWWWW!” and various other whoops and exclamations of delight was to be heard as they sped towards the North Pole.

After a few minutes, Ryan and Graham managed to drag Strax back onto the sleigh, where he led face down in the bottom of the well, barely able to move. Jenny retrieved a blanket she’d brought along for Vastra and covered him with it, head to foot, tucking it deftly under so it didn’t flap away. She turned to look at what the Doctor was doing. “’ow long until we get there then Doctor?”

“Never ask me whether we’re nearly there yet.” The Doctor shrugged.

“Doctor.” Vastra wrenched down her balaclava and snarled.

The Doctor took the hint and consulted a crosshatched orb set in the centre of the dashboard. It had a wide white line that went round and round and every few minutes it would ping. “According to this, we should be nearing the North Pole in about 20 minutes!”

“And yet somehow it’s still too long a time.” Vastra bit back. The sleigh was constantly being buffeted by icy winds that drove hard snow through every crack, too fast for any to build up and form insulation. Everyone was huddled together like penguins now, ice forming on their clothes. Only the Doctor seemed somehow impervious to the cold, still sitting on the pilot seat, leaning over the controls and peering at the instrumentation. The snow flying in her face meant seeing anything was impossible.

“Don’t forget, we still gotta get back to the TARDIS yet.” Jenny said through chattering teeth.

“You can’t complain. This is all your fault, technically. It’s a console room not a consort room.”

“Madame.” Strax bellowed, struggling up from under the blanket. “Have you ever considered having safety catches on your TARDIS instrumentation? The boy informs me they are very practical.” He pulled himself upright and sat leaning at an odd angle.

“You alright son?” Graham asked, struggling to make himself heard.

“I am not a son. I am a Sontaran. And we rarely sit.” Strax shouted in his ear. “It is a most undignified position. Not battle ready at all.”

“Was that Madame at me Strax?” The Doctor called back to him.

“Sorry!” Strax made a face. “Sir! Have you ever considered installing safety catches?”

“Not really. And I’ll stick with Doctor thank you.” She deftly steered the sleigh to the left. The flashing red light in the orb became more centralised. “I see what you mean Nansen! Difficult looking ice formations below us. WHOA!!”

The world in front of them had suddenly gone black. And in the terrible night that had reared up in front of them, was a glaring green eye, staring right at the suddenly small and trifling sleigh. The Doctor yanked on the handles and pulled the sleigh up short. Everyone tumbled together, hastily extricating themselves to look at what had caused the sudden manoeuvre.

“What is that??!” Yaz stood behind the pilot seat and tugged desperately on the Doctor’s sleeve.

“I don’t know! But I’m not about to find out from the inside.” The Doctor flicked more switches.

Strax fumbled a grenade from his bag, pulled out the pin and launched it with a brilliant over arm lob straight at the eye.

“Strax! Don’t go firing on it!” The Doctor flapped an arm at him furiously. There was a moment of silent dread as they watched the grenade arc and then explode right in the eye, causing it to shrivel and melt before their horrified gazes. The dark maw lurched towards them, all the more terrifying for being blind.

“Weapons always make things worse!!” The Doctor rebuked the Sontaran, pulling the sleigh round and boosting the engines. A huge roar of flame issued from the rocket, and the creature behind them bubbled and writhed in the heat, flopping backwards onto the snow and finally lying still. “Oh! Oh no.” The Doctor gasped, horrified at what their retreat had caused.

The sleigh was hastily set down a short way from the now deceased beast and the Doctor jumped off, wading through the snow towards it.

“Doc, I’m just sayin’. I’m not too upset seein’ as it did look to be coming right at us.” Graham called after her.

“With a decidedly evil countenance.” Vastra backed him up. She watched in distaste as the rest of them buckled snow shoes onto their feet and traipsed after the Doctor towards the city sized corpse, only Jenny staying loyally by her side.

The Doctor scanned the melted remains. “I don’t understand what this is. It’s vast. Impossibly vast. And cold. Colder than Tim Shaw. It must freeze everything in its path. And then eat it. But I don’t think it likes the warm very much. Poor thing. This is probably what was causing all the storms.”

“D’you reckon there’s any more of ‘em?” Ryan gazed around, trying to see anything between endless flurries.

“Oh, there’s more of ‘em alright. But don’t worry. They’ll go back to sleep soon. I’m sortin’ ‘em.”

They all whipped round to see a young girl standing there in the snow. She was wrapped up warm, in multitudinous layers, but still shivering, giving her the appearance of a beige blancmange.

“Hello!” The Doctor bounded forward to greet her, as much as she could through snow. “I’m the Doctor. Who’re you?”

“Lizzie. Lizzie Larkin.”

“What’re you doin’ out here Lizzie? Bit nippy isn’t it, to be out on a wander?”

“I’m here to fight the Krools.”

“Krools?” Yaz joined the Doctor and knelt down in the snow in front of Lizzie.

“Wot you just killed. It’s called a Krool. They makes it cold. Something woke ‘em up. All these people traipsing all over it. Well that’d wake you up too, bein’ walked all over. They’ll go back when enough of ‘em are dead. Can’t survive much outside the collective bitter cold.”

“Whoa. Lizzie, you can’t just go…”

“You don’t tells Lizzie what to do for all you’re a Doctor. I knows Doctors. They want to put me away cos I do things they don’t understand. But I understand this all right. Now if you’ll excuse me I’s got a job to be doin’. And you won’t be stoppin’ me. For all your weird get up.”

Suddenly, in front of the Doctor, there was no longer a little girl but a polar bear. The Doctor grabbed Yaz and stood in front of her. “Don’t move.”

Yaz merely stood staring at the majesty and might of the bear. Ryan squeaked and hid behind Graham. “Graham! S’a polar bear.”

“I know son. I know.” Graham swallowed hard as the bear moved between them.

“Curse that I don’t have a gun!” Nansen swore.

“Don’t shoot her!” The Doctor turned and flapped a hand at him. “She’s still a little girl.”

The bear disappeared, and in its place stood a woman. She was dressed only in a tunic; her arms were bare and tattooed blue, her feet made not a mark on the snow. Her hair was loose and red and crackling with fire. She turned to glower at them all then strode onwards, neither wind nor snow impeding her progress.

“Impressive.” The Doctor nodded slowly.

“Doctor.” Yaz grabbed her arm. “That little girl turned into a bear and is now a…fire woman. How is that possible?”

“Don’t know! I don’t know everything Yaz. Didn’t have a clue about these krools. And I thought I was up on everything at the North Pole. Your planet still has so many surprises, Yaz. Even though you funny humans go about exploring everywhere and thinking you know everything about it.”

“There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in our philosophies.” Graham quoted.

“Now there’s a lady to keep you warm, ma’am.” Jenny said to Vastra, from her position of peering over the pilot seat of the sleigh, staring awestruck at what was assumedly still Lizzie Larkin as she walked off.

“Should we be following her?” Graham asked. “If she’s still really a little girl an’ all.”

The Doctor wordlessly returned to the sleigh, beckoning all of them to follow her.

“Doctor.” Nansen stopped her before she could climb up. “We wish to return to our camp. If this is a hallucination, we wish to wake up. If it is not, we wish to go no further.”

“And you guys call yourselves explorers.” The Doctor shook her head but powered up the sleigh once more.

“We are!” Johansen protested. “But I have no desire to make the Pole by such…outlandish and otherworldly means. I will do it in my own right or not at all. Already, we have come the Farthest North.”

“Wait. We’re not gonna just leave Lizzie are we?” Yaz asked.

“No. I’m concerned about these Krools of hers. I don’t know if it’s an alien invasion or something that just naturally _is_ on this planet. Either way, I want to make sure. But first! It appears we need to make a quick drop off. Come on then Nansen and Johansen.”

The motion of the sleigh setting off was not something a body could get used to. Yaz swore half her internal organs had been left behind somewhere in the drifting snow.

“How’re your heat packs holding up?” Jenny asked, checking out her snuggled lizard.

“They are sufficient. For now.”

“Not long Vastra!” The Doctor called back as she spotted the camp the two men had left behind, not far from a small blue dot that was the TARDIS. The sleigh hit a patch of icy snow crust as it landed and slid for a while before the Doctor managed to skid it to a stop. “Ah! There.” She turned in her seat and pointed at the TARDIS. “If you want, you can go back to the TARDIS. Keep warm.”

Jenny looked into Vastra’s eyes. Determination warred with the pain and weariness the cold was causing. “You don’t ‘ave to, love.” She said softly. “We c’n stay in the TARDIS, right as anythin’.”

“And miss such a wonderful adventure? The first women at the North Pole? No, my dear.”

The Doctor jumped into the back of the sleigh as Nansen and Johansen left without a backward glance, staunchly heading for their camp. She took out her sonic and buzzed it over the Silurian. “Vastra.” She said gently. “I’ve recharged the heat packs but there’s only so much they can do. It’s incredibly risky.”

“Since when have I ever shied away from risk?” Vastra’s shrug was almost imperceptible through the vast swathes of clothing.

“Alright. But you’re staying in the sleigh. These Krools sound like your worst enemy.”

Vastra’s eyes became blank. “I doubt they can be anything worse than what I’ve already faced.”

The Doctor’s breath caught in the back of her throat, knowing full well what Vastra was referring to. “No. But imagine Jenny facing that. Just be careful. And stay in the sleigh at least.”

She moved back to the pilot’s seat and fiddled switches, readying the sleigh for take-off. “I really should build some shields onto this thing. But I’d only have to uninstall them when I give it back to him.” She muttered to herself.

Jenny curled up at Vastra’s side, feeling far from impervious to the cold herself. The heat packs made Vastra a small oasis of warmth for once. “You sure you’re gonna be warm enough ma’am?” she asked again.

“Kiss me and I shall always be.” Vastra pulled down her muffler.

Ryan and Graham shared a look and turned away. Yaz watched out the corner of her eye as Jenny gave Vastra a very unimpressed glare but kissed her anyway, pulling the muffler swiftly back up afterwards. Vastra pulled the woman round to sit on her lap, hugging her from behind. An aura of smugness filled the sleigh. Jenny caught Yaz’s eye, a small grin lifting the corner of her mouth.

“Are you two snoggin’ again?” The Doctor shook her head, pulling the handles up and launching the sleigh off the snow, with another whiplash inducing jolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krools and Lizzie Larkin taken from Switchers by Kate Thompson


End file.
